Your daddy and I visited the doctor when you were only 11 weeks growing, to get an ultrasound and see your first baby pictures. You were so cute...little fingers and toes and a perfect little face. The doctors became very serious while they were looking at you, and said that you were sick. They told us that you may have a condition known as Downs Syndrome, meaning that you would not have a body or mind that worked the same as your sister's. The doctors told us that we should consider not letting you be born, because it would present a significant challenge to our family. Mommy cried a lot, and so did Daddy when the doctors were gone. We talked about how much we love you, and how honored we felt to have someone like you come to our family. I was excited to think about what a good big sister you would have, and how you would be able to teach her about patience and compassion and faith. Although Daddy said he would support any decision I made, I never once didn't want you.
The doctors ran lots and lots of tests to find out just how sick you were. The tests really hurt, because your mommy's body was soooo protective of you. Every time the doctors tried to stick a needle toward you, all my muscles inside would attack the needle and make it impossible to get the tissue they needed. Finally, when you were 4 months grown, one of the tests worked. The test told us that you did not have Downs Syndrome, but rather a condition called Trisomy 18. All of the doctors were surprised because you didn't look like other babies with the same thing. It means that your heart and lungs and tummy won't work the right way after you are born, and you will die. I found out while Daddy was at work, and I cried and cried and cried. Your sister cried too, and gave us big hugs.
I need you to understand that we do not cry because you are a challenge, or because we don't want you. We love you so much, and we're sad that we can't keep you. Everyone has challenges in their lives, really really tough things but; because of those challenges, they are provided the blessings to overcome them. You are the BLESSING, not the challenge. Your mommy's biggest challenge is confidence; confidence in herself and in Heavenly Father. There have been sad times in my life when I was so sure I could not be the person He needed me to be. I couldn't understand how the Creator of Heaven and Earth could be mindful of me- condescend to plead with me "won't you come unto me...that I might heal you?"- and make me perfect. But now I am blessed with you...and you have given me the opportunity to re-discover that I really do believe all the things I have said I do. Having you leaves no doubt that families are bound together for eternity. Knowing that you will be waiting for me in Heaven, demands that I have absolute faith in the only One who holds the power to bring me to where you are, our Savior. It is hard to imagine loosing confidence in Him now, when the stakes are so high, and the reward so tangible. Because I have been blessed with you, I can say with surity, that the promises of eternal life are worth every effort which it takes to live the gospel.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Your Name
Miah,
You are still growing in Mommy's tummy. You kick around tons, and you have a very unique personality already. We are very excited to see you when you are born; we know you will be very beautiful. The doctors have told us that your body is sick, and that you won't be able to stay with our family for very long. For this reason, we would like to write down some of the thoughts and special stories you would have heard growing-up.
First, I want you to understand what your name means and why we picked it especially for you. We have named you Miah Rachel Wilde.
MIAH comes from the book of Jeremiah of the old testament. In the fifth verse of the first chapter we read about how Heavenly Father tells the prophet that he has a great purpose, and that no mistakes are made. He says, "Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee, and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee...". I believe that Heavenly Father has a special plan for you, and that you are in no way a mistake. I know that you have a unique and individual spirit that has been alive for a very long time, and that your spiritual life will never end. You will not get to keep your body for very long but, someday, you will get a perfect one that can never get sick or stop working. It will last forever.
RACHEL is a name that also belongs to someone in the Old Testament. She was a beautiful girl who was loved very, very much. Her husband worked for her daddy for 14 years just so he could marry her, and have her in his family forever. I will only carry you in my tummy for 9 months, but I will work to be worthy of you for the rest of my life. Just as Jacob had to wait a long time to be with his beloved Rachel, our family will wait to be with you in Heaven.
WILDE. I took a long time picking out this name for you; it is the most important one of all. This name means that you have a daddy who loves you just as much as I do. He's the kind of daddy who prayed on his knees with me, and asked Heavenly Father to send you to us. He is the kind of daddy who doesn't feel silly dancing with his babies, or singing, or playing horsie. He makes sure that your mommy feels pretty and smart, which means that he will make sure his daughters feel the same way. He is the kind of daddy you can be very proud of forever, and he has given his daughters a name that, when the time comes, should only ever be replaced by a name that meets those same standards.
You are still growing in Mommy's tummy. You kick around tons, and you have a very unique personality already. We are very excited to see you when you are born; we know you will be very beautiful. The doctors have told us that your body is sick, and that you won't be able to stay with our family for very long. For this reason, we would like to write down some of the thoughts and special stories you would have heard growing-up.
First, I want you to understand what your name means and why we picked it especially for you. We have named you Miah Rachel Wilde.
MIAH comes from the book of Jeremiah of the old testament. In the fifth verse of the first chapter we read about how Heavenly Father tells the prophet that he has a great purpose, and that no mistakes are made. He says, "Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee, and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee...". I believe that Heavenly Father has a special plan for you, and that you are in no way a mistake. I know that you have a unique and individual spirit that has been alive for a very long time, and that your spiritual life will never end. You will not get to keep your body for very long but, someday, you will get a perfect one that can never get sick or stop working. It will last forever.
RACHEL is a name that also belongs to someone in the Old Testament. She was a beautiful girl who was loved very, very much. Her husband worked for her daddy for 14 years just so he could marry her, and have her in his family forever. I will only carry you in my tummy for 9 months, but I will work to be worthy of you for the rest of my life. Just as Jacob had to wait a long time to be with his beloved Rachel, our family will wait to be with you in Heaven.
WILDE. I took a long time picking out this name for you; it is the most important one of all. This name means that you have a daddy who loves you just as much as I do. He's the kind of daddy who prayed on his knees with me, and asked Heavenly Father to send you to us. He is the kind of daddy who doesn't feel silly dancing with his babies, or singing, or playing horsie. He makes sure that your mommy feels pretty and smart, which means that he will make sure his daughters feel the same way. He is the kind of daddy you can be very proud of forever, and he has given his daughters a name that, when the time comes, should only ever be replaced by a name that meets those same standards.
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